We're not GAY
by Bravo 1
Summary: Sora and Riku accidently did something gay and Kairi think that they are now gay. Now they have to prove that they're not gay.
1. Chapter 1

Were not GAY!!!!

Sora, Kairi and Riku were all playing at the beach until Sora accidently tripped on top of Riku and kissed him by accident. "Oh I always knew you two would make a great couple." said Kairi

"What?! But—Kairi were not GAY!!!" The two said hysterically.

"Both of you stop it, stop lying to yourself and embrace your gayness. (sigh) Looks like I'll have to go the dance with someone else."

Then it hit them there's a dance at King Mickey's palace next week. Now how are they going to prove Kairi that their not gay? "But-but Kairi Riku and I—were not gay…" Sora panicked. "He's telling the truth Kairi we are not gay!" said even more panicked Riku.

"Boys will be boys; I was going to tell one of you to the dance or maybe both but, now that you're lying to yourself I think I'll ask someone else. And to think I was even ready."

"READY!!!!!!!" They shouted so loud that everyone from other worlds could even hear them. "She was ready." Sora cried and lowered his head. "This sucks if you wouldn't have trip and fall on top of me one of us would have did it with Kairi."

"…Maybe Donald and Goofy can help us with this situation."

"How can they help us?"

"…Well…okay I don't know but at least we have to try."

"Fine how do we contact them?"

"………"

"You went on countless journeys with those two, and you don't even have the slightest clue how to contact them! Dumbass!"

"Of course I do!"

"Then how?"

"……Okay I don't but at least I'm trying."

"Were wasting time while God knows Kairi is doing right this second."

"You mean."

"Yeah." They had a perverted smile and started drooling. "Were a bunch of perverts aren't we Riku?"

"Yeah ain't it great."

At Mickey's palace Goofy and Donald were walking around and enjoying life. "I wonder what Sora and the others are doing?" said Goofy

"I wonder if they are coming to the dance. Almost everyone is coming." said Donald

"Donald!"

"Hey Donald did you hear that?"

"Goofy!"

"Hey Goofy its Sora! Sora where are you?"

"Up here you fucking retard!" Donald and Goofy looked up at a tree and there they were stuck on top of a tree. "Can you two help us down?" (snap) A branch snapped in half making Sora and Riku fall to the ground.

"Gosh are you two alright?"

"Yeah were okay Goofy." said Riku, Donald and Goofy helped Sora and Riku up.

"Hey why are you two here anyway, the dance isn't till next week." said Donald

"Well we have a problem." said Sora

"What is it, is it the Heartless?" said Goofy

"No it's not the Heartless, it's something else." said Sora

"What is it?" said Donald

"You two promise you won't tell." said Riku

"Of course we won't tell that's what friends are for." said Goofy

Sora blushed like a tomato and had his hand behind his head. "Well—um you see it happen not too long ago…um see me, Riku and Kairi were playing at the beach when I accidently trip on top of Riku and kind of kissed him—and now Kairi thinks were gay! Can you two help us?"

Goofy and Donald stared at them blankly. "Goofy, Donald are you two alright?"

Five hours later

"Have any Kings Riku?"

"Goldfish."

"WHAAAAAATTTTTT???????!!!!!!!" Goofy and Donald shouted in union. "Finally they got it through their thick heads." said Riku

"So will you help us?"

"Well um do we have a choice?"

"C'mon Goofy we need yours and Donald's help."

"Alright we'll help but were not going to do anything stupid…right?" said Donald

"Yeah yeah yeah just help us." Sora used his keyblade and opens their world.

"So what's the plan Sora?" said Goofy

Sora had both of his hands behind his head. "Well um—I got it this is what were going to do."

End Chapter

Alright people I have a blank here and I need your help. Give me some ideas on what the two stooges have to prove to Kairi that they're not gay. So REVIEW!!!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Kingdom Hearts

We're not GAY

Chapter 2

"Alright does everyone get what we're doing?" Everyone stared blankley at Sora. "Anybody?"

"Sora—how is catapulting a panda bear into space tells prove that were not gay?!" said Riku

"Plus using the keyblade for your own perverted reasons." Said Goofy

"I actually like that idea." said Riku

"And turning my cousin into soup." said Donald

"C'mon your cousin get's on my nerves."

"Sora can we have a better plan instead!"

"Fine here's another one……I got nothing."

"What about you just say that you're not gay?" said Goofy

"We did and she didn't listen to us." said Sora

"What about—"

"I got it!"

"What Sora?" Sora punched Riku in the face. "What the HELL SORA??!! HOW IS THAT GOING TO PROVE THAT WE'RE NOT GAY???!!!!"

"Easy gay people fight like wimps. All we need to do is beat the crap out of each other in front of Kairi and she'll notice that we're not gay." Sora kicked him in the balls. "Damn you Sora." Riku groaned clutching his balls.

"Um guys I don't think—"

"Not now Goofy we're trying not to be gay." Sora punched Riku in the eye. "That's IT! Sora you're dead!!!" Riku punched him in the gut then a roundhouse kick to his head. "Hey not to the face Riku!"

"Shut up Sora and let me kick your ass!" Riku punched Sora to the face. "That's it Riku!" Sora summoned the keyblade and then Riku summoned his and started to fight again.

"Um Donald…"

"Yeah Goofy."

"How can Kairi know that they aren't gay if she isn't here?"

"Idiots!"

Three hours later. Riku and Sora were laying down on the ground tired and bruised. "Damn…Now Kairi will know that were…not…ah shit! We forgot about Kairi!"

"Sora! You DUMBASS!!!! NOW HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO PROVE TO KAIRI THAT WE'RE NOT GAY!!!!"

"Guys just tell her that you're not gay." said Goofy

"We did that!!" said Sora

"Just prove her that both of you are not gay." said Donald

"Fine we'll go tell her!!!" said Sora

Sora and Riku stomped over to Kairi's house and knocked on her door. "Hey Sora, Riku how are you two doing?"

"Alright Kairi just listen to us for one minute…how can we prove that were not gay. Just tell us we'll do anything!!!!" said Sora

"Anything?"

"Yes ANYTHING!!!!!" They shouted in union.

WARNING: This scene will have a threesome for those who don't want to read a threesome don't read this part of the story!!!!!!! Really don't like threesome DON'T READ IT!!!!!!!"

"Alright get in you two."

"What?" Sora and Riku stand in the middle of Kairi's house, worried and afraid what Kairi might want them to do. "So you two want to prove that you're not gay?" She sat on a couch in front of them.

"Y-y-y-yes…"

"Alright, then the only option is that all three of us should have sex."

"WHAAATTTT??????!!!!"

"Listen when were all naked and if both of you don't gang up on each other I'll know that you're not gay. But if you do then during the dance i will shout it out. Deal."

"Ummm…deal…" The said in union.

"Alright both of you get naked and let's see if you're gay or not." Both Sora and Riku got naked and Sora notice that Riku's has bigger than his."

"Damn it Riku why do you have to have a bigger manhood than me!"

"Both of go in my room and wait for me." Both Sora and Riku sat on opposite sides of the room making no eye contact, and then Kairi walked in naked. The two perverts had a nose bleed just at the sight of Kairi's naked body.

"So are you two ready." They nodded like perverted idiots, with their perverted smile and giggles.

Kairi lay down on her bed and Sora and Riku were on opposite sides of her. "So how are we going to handle this Kairi?" asked Sora

"Um…I know…" Kairi went down on Sora's manhood and started sucking on it. Sora moaned by her warm moist mouth, her tongue licking all over his head. Kairi raised her left leg signaling Riku to insert himself in her. As he moved in her Kairi yelped while sucking on Sora's dick. Riku slowly paced himself inside her then he started to pace faster and faster, until Kairi couldn't suck on Sora's manhood and had to take large amount of air. She started to stroke his manhood and went back sucking and licking his head. Sora and Riku moaned intensely from the feelings that their manhood's were going through.

All three moaned intensely by the motion that they were going. Finally Sora and Riku yelled as the spewed their seeds into Kairi. "Damn that was great…now what?" said Sora

"What about you two switch positions." said Kairi

Sora and Riku switch positions. Now she's sucking on Riku's manhood and Sora moved inside her. Sora paced himself even though that he wasn't as fast as Riku or longer he filled up good. Kairi moaned while she was sucking Riku's manhood. After a while the guys spilled their seeds into her. All three lay on her bed tiredly breathing heavily.

"Man that was awesome right Kairi…Kairi?" She was on top of Sora sleeping. "She must be tired from all that. Let's just give her some sleep Sora." Sora agreed wrapped his arm around Kairi and Riku wrapped his arm around her to and laid his head on her back and both fell asleep.

End Chapter


	3. Chapter 3

Were not GAY!!!!

"Mmmm Kairi your skin so warm." said Sora

"Yeah your hair so silky." said Riku

"And your penis is so…hard?" (record play scratch!) "WHAT THE HELL????!!!!!" Sora and Riku jumped out of the bed butt naked in a strange room and the bed looked like a giant red heart.

Riku disturbingly looked at Sora. "What?! What the hell?! Where's Kairi?! And-and where are we?" Riku looked around the room it looked like a honeymoon suit. Riku quickly grabbed a pink full of hearts bathrobe, though he was deeply disturbed by the bath robe but it was the only thing that he can find to cover his body from Sora.

"Are you sure you're not gay Sora?"

"Of course I'm not gay! I just had sex with Kairi!"

"That doesn't mean you're not gay! Now get something on, I don't want to see you naked!" Riku walked up to the window and open the curtains. Bright lights blinded him and a big sign in the back ground glowed even brighter saying Viva Las Vega. Then he closed the curtains and had an unsure face.

"Nothing makes sense anymore." Sora walked up to him wearing a furry pink full of hearts and lacy silk straps bath rob. "…Sora why are you wearing that bathrobe?"

"Because it's the only one I can find after this predicament can we not talk about this. So where are?"

"I-HAVE-NO-IDEA"

"Great! Not only we have any idea where we are we don't even have the slightest idea where is Kairi!" Then the door was open by Kairi. "Hey guys have a nice sleep?"

"KAIRI!!!" The guys cried out running over to her side, Kairi stepped back a couple of spaces. "Are you two alright?"

"Yeah were alright what about? You're not hurt are you?" said Sora

"Um no…are you sure your both alright?"

"Kairi were alright were just worry about you." said Riku

"Eh? Okay? I'm alright, everything's fine." She said it in a calm and slow tone.

"Good so where are we?" said Sora

"Oh yeah you both got wasted. Fine here's what happen, were in Las Vegas, yesterday you both got married; remember?"

Sora and Riku had a dumbfound faces and looked at each other very very ill. "Marry…to…" Sora and Riku kick Kairi out and closed the door behind her. Kairi looked confused but a thought came to her. "They should have said they were going to have sex."

Sora hit his head on the wall multiple times and said a word with each hit. "How-the-hell-did-this-happen?"

Riku sat on the bed thinking about the situation. "Okay lets think about this, what happen after we had sex with Kairi?" Sora stops slamming his head to the wall and walked up to the lamp table. "I don't know but look at these photos."

"Photos?" Riku looked at the photos over Sora shoulder. One had them at a alter, another had a them dancing, then kissing, eating a cake with each other faces next to each other and a them of having sex. "OH—MY—GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??????!!!!!!!!!! THIS ISN'T RIGHT AT ALL!!!! NOT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!" shouted Riku

"I know, I look fat in those photos." said Sora. Riku slapped behind his head while staring at the pictures. "I know, this must be some game someone playing on us. That's right, someone's playing tricks on us." said Riku

"Right someone playing tricks with us, great so how do we know whose playing tricks on us?"

"……….Maybe Kairi might give us a clue."

"Sounds good to me but first where are our clothes and why did we kick her out of the room?"

"I have no idea?"

Twenty minutes latter

"Okay all I can find that isn't gay are these blue and black jeans and black and white shirts. Choose your pick." said Riku

"I'll have those two." Sora grabbed the black shirt and blue jeans.

Five minutes latter they exited out what seems the Golden Nugget.

"Either we got really wasted for the last couple of days or really really high." said Riku

Sora was amazed that there were so many people in the city but he also blinded by the flashing lights. "From the looks of this place I think we did both." Then Sora saw a bunch of people he thought he won't see in this city. "Hey look it's Roxas, Namine and Axel!" Sora pointed at them across the street.

"Hey Roxas!" Sora ran across the street, Roxas and the others saw Sora running at them.

"Hey—" Then Sora got hit by a car. "Sora!" Everyone shouted.

Sora got up without a scratch. "I'm alright." Again another car hit him and he was thrown in front of Roxas and the others. "Ooowww." Sora got back to his feet and greeted his friends. "Hey guys how's it going?" He said a bit dazed and then collapsed to the ground.

At some restaurant that looks like on of those 70's hamburger restaurant name Shake and Bake. "Wait let me get this straight, neither one of you remember what just happen for the last couple of weeks?" asked Roxas

"Weeks?" Sora and Riku question.

"Yeah, weeks…"

"Wow Riku we really got wasted and or high."

"Okay wait what happen during those couple of weeks."

"Well you guys did win 2 million dollars in a poker game." said Axel

"2 million dollars? 2 million dollars?! How the hell did we win 2 million dollars…wait scratch that, what the hell?" Sora shout was so loud that everyone in the resturant heard him.

"Hey I don't know nothing, all I know that you both won 2 million." Sora and Riku stared at them blankly.

Outside of the restaurant.

"Okay Sora lets recap: We did something gay, had sex with Kairi then we somehow got married to each other and learn that were staying in a hotel in a city that we never even heard of and now we learn that we won 2 million dollars. Sora, what the hell did you do to the Gods!" Then Riku and Sora got punched in the face by some big man. He grabbed them by the neck choking them.

"Where is it!?"

"What? What you're talking about?" said Sora

"Where is my photon sphere projectile?"

"What photon sphere project—what?!" They said in union.

"You lost my photon sphere! Do you not know that the entire universe is at stake!"

"…………………………………….WHAT?!"

The big guy threw them in a pile of garbage and now they're cover with garbage crap.

"Listen and listen to me good. Find me that photon sphere projectile or your dead!" With that he left.

Riku slowly looked at Sora. "Sora, what the _HELL _is going on here?!"

"Apparently we lost his photon sphere projectile. But, we don't know what the hell this photon sphere projectile is! So how the hell are we supposed to know how this photon thing looks like! Damn him!"

"Man did we got wasted."

End Chapter


	4. Chapter 4

Were not GAY!!!!

Back at the Golden Nugget

Riku and Sora walked in the hotel quite piss because of the garbage stench and that everyone looked at them like they were hobos. "First thing First Sora, we need to get out of that pansy of a room we have."

They walked up to the desk and rang the bell. "Hello boys." The clerk said in a gay voice.

"Um, hi we would like to check out of our room." said Riku

"Alright sweetie, what your name?"

"Um, Sora and Riku."

"Oh find you hahah silly boys" Sora and Riku looked at the clerk disturbingling. "what about your other room?"

"Other…room?"

"Yes, three weeks ago you two handsome fellows came here with a girl and rented a room for a month."

"Girl? Um was her name is Kairi?"

"You mean the red hair girl, oh yeah her and by the way do you know what type of shampoo she uses for her hair?"

"…Um nooooo? But we would like to know where this room is?" said Sora

"Yes here we are room 1213, yes after the second week you two bought the honeymoon suite I never knew you two were gay."

"Were not gay!" They said in union. "Just give us the keys!" said Riku

"Temper temper here you two go." He handed them the keys to room 1213. "Oh one more thing here you go." He handed them over a shoe box.

"Um, thanks? I think?" Riku and Sora walked off kind of disturbed.

"Well here we are room 1213, it's now or nothing." As Riku unlocked the door Sora stop him.

"Wait Riku lets think for a moment, how the hell do we know what's on the other side of this door."

"Well let's just hope that there isn't any gays, transsexual, weird people, fat people, copy of us and/or Canadians on the other side."

"Canadians? Why Canadians?"

"I don't know, it just came to me."

"Oh" Riku opens the door reviling just to be a normal room. "Well this is alright I guess." said Sora

Riku went in first looking around just to see if everything is alright, then Sora walked in and went over to the bed and placed the shoe box on it. There he saw a couple of pictures on the lamp table. He checked out the pictures, one had him Riku and Kairi dancing (Sora behind Kairi, Riku in front of her and Kairi in the middle). Another had Kairi kissing Sora and another had her kissing Riku then finally it had both kissing Kairi.

"Hey Riku look what I found." He handed him the photos. Riku examined the photos and had a thought when all this took place. "It must have taken place during that party that the king had."

"Wait maybe we can talk to the King about this, he must know something about all this." Riku agreed with him. Sora tries to summon his keyblade but nothing happen.

"Sora stop playing games."

"I'm not, I can't summon the keyblade." Again he try to summon his keyblade but nothing happen.

"Dude where's my keyblade?"

"Dude where's your keyblade?"

"Dude where's my keyblade?"

"Dude where's your keyblade?"

"Dude where's my keyblade?"

"Dude where's your keyblade?"

"I don't know? Where the hell is my keyblade?"

"Man this sucks, look lets get out of here and look for Kairi and Roxas maybe they have any answers."

"Fine."

"Riku I can't walk anymore, I'm tired." Sora fell to the ground.

Sora fell in front of the Golden Nugget entrance. "…Sora we just got out of the hotel, get your lazy ass off the ground!" Sora groaned and got up like an infant.

"Hey boys." said Kairi

"Kairi!" Sora quickly got up and both guys said her name in union.

"Um, are you two alright?"

"Yeah we were trying to find you all day." said Sora

"Oh, well I'll be going so see ya." She walked off a bit sad. "Wait Kairi!" Sora and Riku try to stop her but trip over by each others feet. "Oww damn it Sora watch out where your going."

"Same goes for you Riku." Sora got up first and helped Riku up. "I wonder what's wrong with her?" said Sora

"She's sad…" Sora and Riku turned around and saw Axel leaning against the wall.

"Sad? Sad about what?" said Riku

"What do you think, one day both of you were Kairi's boyfriends then you three came here for vacation, then few days latter you two fought over her which made her sad. After that you both got really wasted and drunk plus accidentally got married to each other which made her even sadder. Got it memorize."

"…What?!" They said in union. "Wait that what happen, so that means where not gay." said Sora

"How should I know only you know that? But I think I have an idea." Axel smiled at the end of the sentence that made Sora and Riku really really uncomfortable.

At Stardust Hotel/Casino Roxas and Namine were kissing each other on their bed until Axel threw Sora through the door landing in front of their bed. "Sora are you alright?" said Roxas

"Yeah I'm alright…" He said dizzily. Then Axel and a confused Riku walked in.

"Alright Roxas get up and get naked."

"What?!"

"You heard me."

"……Axel, are you gay?" said Namine

"Hell no, but were testing if these two are." He drag Riku next to him and pulled Sora by the foot.

"But why me?"

"Just do it!" Roxas blushed red like a tomato and stared to taking his clothes off, as for Sora and Riku thins idea only made them really uncomfortable and same goes for Axel. But for Namine this only got her turned on, now Roxas is now completely naked. "Anything…" he said very uncomfortable voice, "please say no" Axel looked the guys and they shook their heads. "Great" Axel said in a distasteful tone. "Namine, your turn." He said in a perverted tone.

"Whoa! Wait a minute Axel! Okay first of all this was a _really _stupid idea. And second nobody **and nobody** sees my girlfriend naked, except for me! Now get OUT!"

"But—" Axel got depress for not seeing Namine naked. "OUT!" Roxas grabbed Axel by the neck and threw him out of the window (Namine and Roxas are at the second floor of the hotel.) "And what about you two." Riku and Sora didn't want the same fate that Axel had, so without question leaving the couple to be alone.

"Axel is such an idiot."

"Roxas…" Namine said in a sexy tone, he turned to see her laying on the bed wearing only her panties. _"Hell ya!"_ Roxas jumped on the bed and kissed and making love to her.

Outside

"Well that was a waste of time." said Riku

"Well at least we know that were not gay." said Sora

"Sora, we don't need to know that if were gay or not. We already know that were not gay!"

"……But Kairi know that we got married to each other, but she doesn't know that we did it by accident."

"Yeah I know, plus I'll never see Roxas the same way again, plus he's your nobody."

"I know, now I can look at myself the same way either." Riku shook his for disappointment. "C'mon Sora lets see if Axel is alright."

The guys headed to the ally way where Axel laid on the ground. "Hey Axel, are you alright?"

Axel raised his hand giving them thumbs up. "Yo…" Then a grey van came out of nowhere, five men ran out of the van grabbing Sora and Riku, the guys struggle but were knocked out by some type of gas the men sprayed in front of their faces.

"What about the red hair guy."

"Yeah take him too." Two men grabbed Axel and threw along with Sora and Riku in the van.

"You guys suck ass." said Axel

End Chapter


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